Friday Funnies

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I'm just afraid you're going to look like a dumpy little pear when you have kids.

You're texting like a three fingered wino.

Are you going to see him like that? You haven't seen this boy in awhile. You want him to think you're pretty don't you? Not that you aren't pretty, but I'm just saying a little makeup never hurts.

You're one of the poors until you start traveling with me.

If you can't sit you aren't fit.

I had a gas station burrito and hashbrowns...and some Reese's Pieces cereal from
the hotel for the PB protein punch. Breakfast of champions.

I don't know how to get up without penetrating myself.

Why didn't I ever have children? Because it was too much fun getting drunk and shopping.

That's so Navtec. Wait. Oh my gosh. I just combined Native American and Aztec. Wow.

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Thursday Thoughts with Jen - Vol 25

Happy Day Before Valentine's Day Day! I like Valentine's Day if for no other reason than all the cute pink decorations and the abundance of cakes and cookies and heart shaped desserts. Good thing I can eat them again! ;)

1. How do you all feel about flowers being sent to the office on V Day? Personally I can't stand it. If you want to bring me flowers when you run to the grocery store to pick up milk on some random Tuesday night to show you were thinking about me, I promise you will earn 100x more bonus points than if you send me flowers on February 14th. I would much prefer going out for margaritas and a giant bowl of queso than having some silly (often ugly) $40 flower bouquet delivered (in a cardboard box) to my work where they will wilt and die in a corner unnoticed because I'm too busy to even breathe.
2. Wednesday was just not my day. I went to the gym in the morning and forgot a bra (kinda important when you're wearing a thin, sort of see through, cheap shirt from Forever 21...even when you are as flat-chested as I am). Of course I didn't realize this until I had already showered and didn't have enough time to drive all the way back to my house so I had to wear a sweaty workout top underneath my work shirt. Awesome. I decided to cheer myself up by running to Starbucks for a quick latte, and what do you know. While I was waiting for my drink someone backed into my car because it was "so dark I didn't see your white car" because that makes sense. Direct quote. Then when I got to work the fire alarm went off and I had to stand out in the freezing cold for 15 minutes. Fantastic.
3. Okay. Enough ranting. On Saturday I went to Hobby Lobby three times. I also went once on Friday night so there's that...four times in two days. That might be a new record even for me. The reason for all these Hobby Lobby trips? Originally I wanted to find some fun things to go on the wall around my fauxidermy deer I got for Christmas, but I ending up finding something even better. 

   

   How fun are these letters? Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

   

   My deer is still lonely. Anyone have any genius ideas as to what I
   should put on the wall around him?! Poor guy is all by his lonesome.
4. So I had my first donut in over a month on Tuesday, and OH EM GEE. It was ah-maze-ing. Even though I'm a die hard Jayhawk, and I truly believe Lawrence, KS is infinitely better than Manhattan, KS, Varsity Donuts has a real good thing going on. I've tried several different kinds of their donuts now, and they never disappoint. If you should ever find yourself in the Little Apple go there. You won't be sorry. 

   

   Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting,
   strawberry fluff, and heart sprinkles. I die.

5. Now I've got donuts on the brain. I've been wanting to go to Voodoo Doughnut in Portland for years now, literally years. Guess what?! They just opened a location in Denver, and conveniently, I'll be in Colorado this weekend. I've already told Cory that we are stopping there on Sunday no matter what. Thank goodness he is a good sport, and really how can anyone say no to me AND donuts?! Together we're unstoppable! Now which one should I try?! Who's been?!
6. I'm not a big drinker, but I am really, really excited to drink Boulevard Chocolate Ale this weekend. I bought it last week, but have been saving it for my trip this weekend. I. Can't. Wait. 
   
7. In the spirit of Valentine's Day (and because I'm obsessed with Nashville), I'm going to leave you today with three songs about love. There's something for everyone here so listen to them all! :)

Thursday Thoughts with Jen - Vol 24

Yay! It's Thursday!

1. Being a grown up isn't all bad when you get snow days! Here in Kansas we've had TWO this week...although they aren't quite as fun as when I was younger. I guess technically I was still working, but at least I was working while watching the Today Show in my PJ's! I think I could really get used to this being at home all day thing. Too bad being a stay at home girlfriend isn't a real profession.
2. The downside to working from home? I just want to eat and eat and eat. All. Day. Long. I'm pretty sure I would be obese if I was stuck at home all day every day. It was really difficult not to make 20 different types of cookies yesterday and sit on the couch stuffing my face, binge drinking hot chocolate, and getting dumber watching episode after episode of Vanderpump Rules. It is so trashy and so awful, but I kinda love it.
3. Since we've been locked up inside for the past two days, the Tindahs and I have had to find ways to entertain ourselves. A girl can only watch so much Bravo. Tuesday night my mind was blown. Did you know that your forearm is the same size as your foot?!? Apparently this is common elementary school knowledge that I missed out on! I guess my STL education pales in comparison to a small town Wamego education.
4. Guess what?!? Today is my LAST day of no sweets. I've almost made it an entire month! I did have Biggest Loser oatmeal pancakes for breakfast Tuesday and Wednesday, but in my defense I used sugar free syrup, and they were healthy-ish. Cory says I cheated. I say tomato. He says tomahto.
   
5. So I haven't been entirely truthful with you guys. The reason I've been so dead set on this no sweets for a month thing? Well a little over a month ago I ripped my jeans. Yup. I ripped my jeans trying to squeeze my thigh into them, and it wasn't a small little rip. It was a giant gaping tear from my crotch to about half way to my knee. How embarrassing. And that's not even the worst part. The worst part was that they were my favorite jeans, and I had to wear them to work all day long because it happened at the gym, and I didn't have time to go home and get a change of clothes. Luckily I was wearing a long shirt, and I was able to hide out at my desk a majority of the day.
6. Even though Oreo opted to go dark during the Super Bowl on Sunday, they've still been top of my mind. I told Cory that literally the only thing I want for Valentine's Day is a package of Marshmallow Crispy Oreo's...and this is why I rip my pants. Who's tried them? Are they as amazing as I imagine?
   
7. I'm kind of addicted to Buzzfeed quizzes. Today I found out what food matches my personality! Drum roll....I'm....SUSHI! I'm smart, sophisticated, and fancy. What food are you?
8. How did people plan weddings before Pinterest? This is a serious question. If you aren't a creative person I guess you were just S.O.L. Although some of these "fun ideas" are just too much. A ball pit at a wedding reception? No thank you.
9. While I've never actually seen the real Notebook movie (Don't fall out of your chair. I don't know why everyone acts so horrified when I tell them that), I imagine this version is one million trillion zillion times better!