Friday Funnies

I threw up on the balcony of the country club.

I HATE when the Southwest flight attendants sing. Ruins my day, and then 
half the plane claps. Don't feed into their narcissism. We're hostages on this 
plane and we're being tortured by your voice.

I feel like I'm in the movie "Failure to Launch", but dude. The guy is 

not near as hot as Matthew McConaughey.

I'm just not very good at shuffle board because my muscles are too big. I guess I'm

 just too strong. [editor's note: these words actually came out of a guy's 

mouth at Sully's, and he was 100% serious. Barf]

Girls just want to get married and make little frat lords.

Don't let me get hotter than you or I'll be trying to upgrade.

I liked an Asian on Tinder tonight. I've reached an all time low. #loweringstandards

I'm so drink. I'm a mess. I ordered a double water.

The only guys who wear the FBI: Female Body Inspector shirts are the guys who've 

never inspected a female body. Those are the worst...or every shirt 

at a beach store. People actually buy those. I weep for America.

6 Month Check Up

Well I'm a few days late since my half birthday was on Saturday, but let's take a look at how I'm doing on my list of yearly goals. I have a feeling I've probably been slacking...

1. Blog at least once a week. - Major fail. Whoops.
2. No alcohol or sweets for a month. The alcohol part? That will be easy. The sweets? Lord help me. Completed no alcohol for the month of January. I also attempted to do no sweets but cheated the first weekend so I had to start over on January 6th, but I can happily say I made it the entire month until February 6th! Go me!
3. Find a church to attend. This must happen this year. - I haven't actually joined a church, but I've tried out a few different ones and I think I like Old Mission United Methodist Church the best so I'm going to say this counts. Now to start going every single week...
4. Get my new website up and running. - Hopefully Cory isn't reading this. Still haven't gotten around to this yet. My goal is to have it finished by the end of the summer.
5. Buy/hang curtains in my living room and bedroom. - Nope. Too busy spending money on plane tickets.
6. Take photography lessons. - Nope.
7. Take a Bikram yoga class. - Nope.
8. Travel abroad. Europe. Mexico. Canada. Wherever! - Not yet. I think Cory and I are talking about taking a trip in December right before Christmas so hopefully I can get this one checked off then.
9. Increase my savings account by changing my automatic funds transfer from $50 to $100 a week. Completed January 1, 2014 which means my savings has grown by at least $5,200 this year.
10. Walk at least 10,000 steps every day for a month. I just got a Fit Bit for Christmas so I'm kind of obsessed. :) - Did this one in combination with the no sweets. Completed Jan 6-Feb 6.
11. Call a friend I haven't talked to in awhile on the way home from work at least once a week. - Kinda? Probably not every week.
12. Say "I love you" more and mean it.
13. Eat a paleo or low carb diet for a month. Again, this will be very difficult for a carb lover like myself. - Still need to do this. I've been contemplating doing the Whole 30 Challenge. Ashley is motivating me.
14. Read 12 books - (1) Allegiant by Veronica Roth, (2) Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape by Jenna Miscavige Hill, (3) Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, (4) Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell,
15. Try 12 new recipes (bonus points if they aren't desserts). - (1) Funfetti Gooey Cake Bars, (2) Fruity Greek Yogurt Chicken Salad, (3) Biggest Loser Oatmeal Pancakes, (4) Key Lime Cookie Cups, (5) Buffalo Blue Cheese Chicken Tacos, (6) Funfetti Sugar Cookie Cake
16. Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. This one is kind of cheating because C and I are already planning on going there in March, but I've wanted to go forever so whatever. This one's a freebie! - Completed on 3/3/14. It. Was. AMAZING. You all must go and bring me back a butterbeer!
17. Milk a cow. Random you may say? It sounds fun...and I just really want to visit Shatto Milk Company sometime this year. I might die of happiness if I'm able to bottle feed a baby cow. Soooo stinkin' cute! - Nope.
18. Sing karaoke. - Nope.
19. Buy a house plant and keep it alive for 6 months. Let's be honest. There is no way it will live for year. Baby steps. - I've bought some succulents. I bought five different plants, and I've already lost one. Fingers crossed the remaining four can hold out for another 5 months and 2 weeks.
20. Swim with manatees or dolphins. - Swam with manatees in Crystal River, FL on 3/2/14.
21. Go for a hot air balloon ride. - Nope.
22. Send snail mail to a friend or family member each month. I know I had this same idea last year, but I failed miserably, and I always love getting fun mail so it's time to return the favor. - Nope.
23. Buy my parents dinner. - Nope.
24. Have a garage sale to get rid of everything still boxed up in the basement. If I haven't used it in almost a year I really don't need to keep hanging on to it. - Nope.
25. Buy a piece of jewelry that signifies all I've achieved so far. - Nope.
26. Take a spinning class. - Nope.
27. Try 12 new restaurants. - (1) Ichiban, (2) La Bodega, (3) Azteca Family Mexican, (4) Maverick's Grille, (5) El Palacio De Los Jugos, (6) Grand Cafe, (7) Egan & Sons, (8) The Granary, (9) Bowens Island, (10) Taco Boy, (11) Poogan's Porch, (12) Bay Street Biergarten, (13) High Cotton, (14) The Ordinary, (15) Triangle Char and Bar, (16) Five Loaves Café, (17) Pane e Vino, (18) Taco Mamacita, (19) Edmund's Oast
28. Visit at least one state I've never been to. - Nope.
29. Hold a snake. I didn't have enough courage to do this last year. Maybe 29 is the lucky year? We shall see. - Definitely not.