Thursday Thoughts with Jen - Vol 1

In an attempt to blog more frequently, I'm trying to do some recurring weekly posts that won't bore you all to tears. So here goes. Maybe you'll find these humorous. Maybe you'll think I'm insane. Maybe you'll agree with me and commiserate. Either way, here's my first installment of Thursday Thoughts with Jen.

1. Honey roasted almonds are delicious. On Monday night I mindlessly ate an entire jar of honey roasted almonds while watching the Bachelorette. Okay it wasn't the entire jar, but it was probably all but 10 tiny almonds...and it was brand new. I had just gone to the grocery an hour before. Low point. 
2. Speaking of groceries, shopping at Walmart really boosts my self confidence. Sometimes I actually enjoy shopping there. It makes me feel really, really good about myself and what I'm doing with my life. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably.
3. La Macarena really was/is amazing. This song randomly came on my iPod when I was running on the treadmill at the gym the other night, and it took all my self control not to break out in dance. When I dance they call me Macarena. All the boys they say que estoy buena. They all want me, they can't have me. Must. Appear. Normal.
4. You know who isn't normal? Amanda Bynes. I'm actually not unhappy she has gone off the deep end because it takes some heat off my girl Britney. B. Spears in 2008 wasn't nearly as cray cray as Miss Bynes is in 2013. What's with the plastic surgeries and wigs?
5. Now that I've got hair on the mind, let me just say I absolutely hate facial hair on men. Unless you are a sexy, burly, mountain man (which lets face it, most of you aren't), stop being so dang lazy and pick up a razor. If I have to shave my legs every day you can darn well muster up the energy to shave your face. Under no circumstances is your "beard" comprised of 10 measly whiskers considered attractive. You look dirty. Get rid of it. Now.
6. Stalking exes on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/other social media is normal... right? Come on. I know you do it too. There is something extremely gratifying when they either (a) have one of the aforementioned "beards" (b) got fat, (c) their new girlfriend is kind of a dog, or (d) all of the above. I know at least one of them still stalks me too. A very important Instagram lesson for all you newbies - double clicking a photo will not zoom in so you can get a closer look. It "likes" the person's picture, and they receive a notification...even if you unlike it immediately. Yes I caught you stalking me, but don't worry. It's really okay. I do it too on occasion. I'm just smarter and better at it than you.
7. Videos are ruining Instagram. Ughhh. Hate them. Can't stand them. They must go immediately. If I wanted to watch a video I would open Vine. There needs to be an update so you can choose whether or not videos are included in your feed. Do you hear me Instagram creators?!
8. Humidity is the worst. One of the only reasons I was excited to come back from vacation last week was so my hair could finally look normal again, but no. The humidity had to follow me all the way back to Kansas. How am I supposed to look pretty when my hair is plastered to my head?! Instagram filters can only do so  much.
9. Work weeks go by so much slower when you are actually excited for the weekend ahead. Maybe it's because last week I spent my time relaxing on the beach and frolicking in the ocean or maybe it's because I have friends coming into town this weekend, but the last four days have felt like an eternity. Friday at 2:00 p.m. needs to get here stat. Thank goodness for summer hours.


...and that's all I've got for you today. What's on your mind?